When will men become self-reliant?

Vartha Bharati | 05-10-2020 | 16:39:00 IST

“Does your wife work?” “No, she stays at home.” Such conversations are common in India. Women’s management of the home and household chores is not accorded ‘the status of a job.’ Only if a woman ventures out to work in an office, she is regarded as employed. If she manages her home, raises children, cooks, and manages the household, she is regarded as unemployed.

This has been the perception of our society towards women for a long time. Forget paying for the domestic work of a woman, whose role is significant in laying the foundation for a family, our society has still not grown to provide dignity to a woman who manages the household.

Society terms as self-reliant only those women who work outside in offices or other areas for a salary which is another form of exploitation in India. The employed woman does not get any exception from domestic work. After completing her office work, she has to manage her household work without getting paid for it.

Also, in India, it is inevitable that women take on a major part of the child-rearing responsibility. At the same time, employed women find themselves in a situation where they can spend their earnings only through their husbands. For women, becoming ‘self-reliant’ therefore means working in two places – at the office and at home.   

According to a 2019 survey conducted by the National Statistical Organization (NSO), about 91.8 percent of women in the age group of 15 -59 years are engaged in unpaid domestic work. The survey has also shown that only 20.6 percent of men participate in the same kind of unpaid domestic work. Overall, in 2019, about 79.8 percent women over six years of age were engaged in unpaid domestic work. But among men, this is a measly 17.9 percent.

According to the NSO’s Time Use Survey -2019 conducted between January and December 2019, about 51.7 percent of men over six years of age are engaged in income-generating employment activities. Compared to this, only 18.3 women are engaged in income-generating employment activities. This is the first time that such a survey has been conducted in India. The survey was conducted to collect information about how those over six years of age spend their time with their families.

The participation of Indians in unpaid work is about 63.6 percent, and on an average, one person is engaged in unpaid activities for 289 minutes per day.

In rural areas, the participation of women in unpaid domestic work is 85 percent whereas, in urban areas, it is 81.7 percent. In the same range, the participation of men in domestic unpaid work is 47.8 percent in urban areas whereas it is about 17.7 percent in rural areas.

The study has also revealed that where the grown-up children devote a larger proportion of time to studies, their participation in domestic work is reduced. The survey participants in the age group of 6 -14 were engaged in domestic activities for about 430 minutes whereas 29.2 percent of those in the age group of 15 -29 were engaged in domestic work.

Overall, the survey reveals that society has handed over the responsibility of all unpaid domestic and livelihood related work to women and has institutionalized a way of life that men and children need not be part of such domestic activities.

Most importantly, society has decided that being ‘self-reliant’ means being paid for holding jobs outside homes and at offices. It reveals the state of the mind of people who consider earning a salary and engaging in domestic work in two different aspects. The survey has also revealed the contempt of the family towards work that does not generate income. Usually, only girls are taught household chores and boys are assigned the responsibilities of the outside world. Families don’t seem to have understood regardless of gender self-reliance includes cooking, washing, and managing everyday domestic work. That’s the reason why a majority of men depend on others for some of the most important activities.

For example, men are rendered helpless when it comes to carrying out important tasks such as cooking and managing their personal belongings and inevitably depend on women. Therefore, it is important that boys and girls are not differentiated right from childhood, and attempts are made to make them self-reliant. Both boys and girls should be taught to cook, clean vessels, manage their personal belongings, perform different domestic activities, and manage their homes. Only then would they be able to manage their families in their roles as husbands or wives. Men will then develop an attitude to regard and respect women who perform unpaid domestic work. Before women and their self-reliance, men’s life of self-reliance should be discussed. Families become stronger with men becoming self-reliant in domestic work.

After engaging in domestic, unpaid work, women lose opportunities to engage themselves in activities such as reading newspapers, participating in sports, and engaging in social activities due to societal prejudice that only those who earn salaries have the right to engage in such activities. If women work in offices or shops, men should manage at least half of their domestic responsibilities.

Otherwise, it would become another form of exploitation of women. The responsibility of child-rearing is both that of the woman and the man and if a husband and wife are well coordinated in this, life becomes smooth. As the saying, ‘home is the first school’, goes, managing families and children becomes significant and valuable more than earning salary through paid work. If men and women understand and internalize this and manage their life, families and society will be much better off.

Let the Truth be known. If you read VB and like VB, please be a VB Supporter and Help us deliver the Truth to one and all.