Have battled suicidal thoughts, depression: Robin Uthappa opens up on life and cricket
New Delhi: Robin Uthappa, a key member of the 2007 World T20 winning Indian team, has revealed that he battled clinical depression and suicidal thoughts for nearly two years during his career, a phase when cricket was perhaps the only thing that kept him from "jumping off a balcony".
The big-hitting top-order batsman, who represented India in 46 ODIs and 13 T20 Internationals, was picked by Rajasthan Royals for Rs 3 crore for this year's IPL, which is currently suspended because of the COVID-19 pandemic.
"I remember around 2009 to 2011, it was constant and I would deal with that on a daily basis. There were times where I wasn't even thinking about cricket, it was probably the farthest thing in my mind," he said during the Royal Rajasthan Foundation's live session 'Mind, Body and Soul'.
"I was thinking about how I would survive this day and move on to the next, what's happening to my life and in which direction am I heading. Cricket kept my mind off of these thoughts but it became really difficult on non-match days and during the off-season.
"On days, I would just be sitting there and would think to myself on the count of three, I'm going to run and jump off of the balcony but something kind of just held me back," he recalled.
It was at this stage that the 34-year-old began maintaining a diary before reaching out for professional help.
"...(I) started the process of just understanding myself as a person. I then started to seek outside help to make those changes I wanted to make in my life," he said.
This phase was followed by him not making the Indian team despite captaining India A in Australia and the Karnataka batsman said it was because he "was innately not happy with something."
"...for some reason there, no matter what I did or how hard I worked in the nets, I was just not able to score a run off my bat. I would spend hours in the nets to get it right but that would just not happen," he said.
"Some part of me was actually not willing to accept that I had a problem with myself...I think sometimes we don't accept the wrong and are unwilling to do so and it is really important to have the acknowledgement.
"The unwillingness to accept is the no one issue and especially for men, who find it difficult to accept their mental issues," he added. Uthappa subsequently had a great Ranji run in 2014-15 season, finishing as the national event's top run-getter.
He hasn't retired yet but neither has he played for India since 2015. Uthappa said he has no regrets about how he dealt with the lows of his life.
"I feel sometimes being negative is necessary. Being negative or having negative experiences, going through trials and tribulations is sometimes necessary for one's own growth," he asserted.
"...I have no regrets on my negative experience as they've helped me develop positively. You need to go through the lulls to make you feel ecstatic about the positives.
"I feel life is about balance and we can't have it one way, a lopsided life is not going to be great, both negative and positive experiences are essential," he said.
The soft-spoken Uthappa said cricket, as a sport, has changed drastically in the decade to be more competitive than ever.
"Cricket was a much more simple game ten years ago. It's very different and competitive now. It's fun along with being competitive, you know it comes with its positives and negatives.
"It's become hard to keep in touch with people from all around the world so it is challenging in that sense. Mentally, though, it's something that keeps you alive and keeps you sharp," he noted.
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Suspected drones observed along IB in Jammu's Samba, being engaged: Army
Jammu, May 12 (PTI): Security forces are engaging suspected drones observed along the International Border in Samba district of Jammu region on Monday, an Army said.
This fresh incident of drone activity along the borderline comes barely hours after Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s first address to the nation following Operation Sindoor and the meeting of the DGMOs of India and Pakistan.
The Army, however, said there is no need to be alarmed.
“A small number of suspected drones have been observed near Samba in J&K. They are being engaged,” it said.
In the backdrop of the situation, several areas witnessed blackouts in Samba, Kathua, Rajouri, and Jammu.
Lights were switched off at the cave shrine of Mata Vaishno Devi and along its track as a precautionary measure, sources said.
On Monday, talks between the DGMOs were held during which issues related to the continuing commitment that both sides must not fire a single shot or initiate any aggressive or inimical action against each other were discussed, the Indian Army said.
It was also agreed that both sides would consider immediate measures to ensure troop reduction along the borders and in forward areas, it added.
The situation remained largely peaceful across Jammu and Kashmir, with no incidents of ceasefire violation reported along the Indo-Pak border Sunday overnight — marking the first calm night after 18 days of hostilities following the Pahalgam terror attack that left 26 people — mostly tourists — dead.
India and Pakistan on Saturday reached an understanding to cease all firing and military actions on land, air, and sea with immediate effect, following four days of intense cross-border drone and missile strikes that brought the two countries to the brink of full-scale war.
Eighteen days of intense hostilities following the Pahalgam terror attack and Operation Sindoor, which brought India and Pakistan to the brink of war, ended with a ceasefire that restored calm along the Line of Control, the International Border, and the hinterland in Jammu and Kashmir. The Army thwarted Pakistan’s Hamas-style kamikaze drone attacks during the escalation.
Since the night of April 24, hours after India suspended the Indus Waters Treaty in response to the Pahalgam terror attack, Pakistani troops repeatedly targeted Indian positions along the LoC — beginning in the Kashmir Valley and quickly expanding to the Jammu region.
The latest hostilities began in the northern districts of Kupwara and Baramulla in the Kashmir Valley, before spreading southwards to Rajouri, Poonch, Akhnoor, and the Pargwal sector along the International Border in Jammu district. The firing affected five border districts — Baramulla, Kupwara, Poonch, Rajouri, and Jammu.
The recent round of cross-border firing further undermined the ceasefire agreement reached in February 2021, which has largely been seen as ineffective due to Pakistan’s frequent violations along the 740-km-long LoC.
The April 22 terror attack, which claimed the lives of 26 people — mostly tourists — in Pahalgam’s Baisaran valley, triggered a strong response from the central government.
The India-Pakistan border stretches over 3,300 kilometers, divided into three segments: the International Border (IB), spanning about 2,400 km from Gujarat to Akhnoor in Jammu; the 740-km-long Line of Control (LoC) that divides Jammu and Kashmir; and the 110-km-long Actual Ground Position Line (AGPL), which separates the Siachen Glacier region.
WATCH: OP Sindoor continues. Minutes after PM Speech.
— Rahul Shivshankar (@RShivshankar) May 12, 2025
A small numbers of suspected drones being observed near Samba in J&K. Being engaged . pic.twitter.com/jmGmRkmQ26
